Whether you are the one that got dumped or the one who ended the relationship, there is no easy way to deal with a break-up. You are on your own again and have to cope with this new situation. Fortunately, there are some useful pieces of advice to put your life back on the rails.

Accept the pain

Remember that it is ok to cry and to despise or even hate the other person. This is part of a normal grieving process and not something you should feel guilty about. The danger in ignoring your feelings is that they will come back to you afterwards and take you by surprise at an awkward moment. Instead, try to confront your thoughts and emotions with an open mind from the beginning, as this will allow you to draw conclusions and learn from the experience.

Write

Writing is an excellent way to organize your thoughts and to avoid carrying them around all day long. By externalizing your thoughts, you make room for new thoughts and insights. Stay honest when putting your thoughts on paper, but don’t lose yourself in sweet memories of the past. There is no use in going over certain conversations for a thousand times. Don’t replay the movie inside your head, rather write it down.

Clean out your closet

You can take this one quite literally. Open your closet and take out anything that reminds you of him, your relationship, or a special moment you once shared. I am specifically thinking about particular songs, pictures, gifts or love letters. If there are useful or valuable items you really want to keep, put them under lock and key or temporarily leave them with a friend you can trust. That way, they will still be there when you are up for it.

Socialize

I cannot stress this enough. Surround yourself with people you love and everything will be ok. Go out and meet friends, family and new people. There is no point in sitting at home alone worrying about the past. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings about the break-up with your closest friends. Good friends are always there to offer support and take you out.

Embrace distractions

Anything will do, as long as you keep busy! Some people focus on work, others prefer to spend more time on their hobbies or explore new challenges. Hobbies or physical activities are in general very good ways to meet new people with the same interests. You could for example take photography classes, join a local gym, learn to play an instrument or take part in a book club. Setting goals can help you achieve a sense of accomplishment and grow your confidence.

Flirt

Enjoy life as a single and all the benefits that come with it. There is nothing like flirting for boosting your self esteem. You are a beautiful, intelligent person, so why not show it? There are thousands of men around eager to get to know you.

Be optimistic

Let go of the past and don’t allow yourself to wallow in self pity. No anger, no regrets, no self-doubt. Of course you and your ex-lover shared some beautiful moments in the past, but that is over now. There is not just one Mr. Right for any of us, so you might as well see the positive side of things. You gained life experience and will benefit from it in future relationships. Time is the greatest healer, one day you will be able to love again.

What is your favorite way for getting over a break-up? I just realized that I forgot my number one: shopping!

Alison

(image credit: Gabriela Camerotti)