Spending more time away from home
Does your boyfriend or hubby seem to be gone more often than he used to? Don’t panic, maybe it’s just work or a sudden urge to spend more time with his drinking buddies. If, however, you find he gets all defensive when you ask about his newfound habit of going out, there might be a reason to get worried.
We’re talking about changes in appearance as well as changes in interests, attitude and routines. Men who cheat on their wives will often buy a new scent, start dressing better or explore new styles of music inspired by their secret lover. At the same time they tend to become more critical of their partner, so don’t expect any compliments on your looks.
It is common for cheaters to display less interest in sex and to be distracted during lovemaking sessions. So if your better half is watching that old horse painting on the wall while you two are getting it on, don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Suspicious cell phone behavior
Of course everyone has the right to privacy, so don’t expect your partner to share the content of every text message with you. It is only when he enables password protection, gets all nervous around his phone and leaves the room when calling that it’s probably a good idea to start paying some extra attention to who he’s connecting with.
Continuous rambling about X
People who are in love want nothing more than to tell the world about that new, exciting person that has entered their life. Suddenly it’s Amy this, Amy that. Especially get worried when he mentions the name of a particular person in his sleeps on different occasions.
Do you ever get the feeling that your spouse is drawing away from you? There is no more talking, no interaction. He seems cold, distant, withdrawn and shows no interest in home life, you or the kids. When you’re on the couch he is more interested in reading a good book than in making love. No kissing, no hugging, no asking how your day was. Moreover, when you try to discuss it, he gets mad at you for bringing it up.
Web of lies
‘Better a lie that heals than a truth that wounds’, so goes the saying. There is nothing wrong with the occasional gentle lie, it’s something we all do. Yet it becomes a problem when he consistently breaks trust and a certain pattern emerges. Be really cautious when he is telling you very elaborate and detailed stories to justify his absences or delays. When one is innocent, no justification is required.
Mood swings are very common in cheaters because of internal conflict. He is struggling with mixed emotions like frustration, confusion and guilt. Although he is the one committing the crime, it is not necessarily easy for him. Don’t be surprised when he himself accuses you of cheating. It’s just another way to deal with the guilt.
When something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore this feeling. Sometimes your gut tells you the right thing. Hopefully you know him better than anybody, so don’t blind yourself to the truth. Learn to trust your instincts without getting paranoid.
Don’t be mistaken here, cheating spouses tend to become over-attentive and sweeter than ever. Suddenly he’ll make you breakfast, bring home flowers and shower you with little attentions. It’s just him trying to cope with his guilt!
This one is probably the easiest to spot. When you smell another woman’s perfume on his clothes or you find lipstick marks on his collar, there is no room for doubt. By the way, those scratches on his back are not from your cat!
On a final note, don’t panic. Every relationship has its ups and down. No man is sweet, considerate and open all the time. Maybe he is just having a bad day or has finally turned into a workaholic. When you get really suspicious, be careful not to make false accusations. This will only drive your lover away.